funny thing

a few months ago, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with something called Borderline Personality Disorder: a mental illness that affects the ability to create and maintain lasting relationships.
fair enough.
my biggest beef is that she based some (maybe most) of her diagnosis on my many facial piercings and brightly colored hair and tattoos, because apparently that is "self-mutilation."
ouch, right?
i am especially insulted because, after doing some research on BPD (also the acronym for boone police department. fun fact!), i discovered that i barely, or don't at all, fit the other major symptoms. also, she had diagnosed my boyfriend with the very same diagnosis less than a month prior.
those odds are staggering.
piercings and blue hair and tattoos = self-mutilation? i'm calling bunk.
it is fair to say that i am certainly subscribing to a lifestyle that will probably permanently alienate me from Mainstream Society, which, i'm not gonna front, is desirable. anything to get away from Mother Culture, right?
but, am i "mutilating" myself because i hate myself and want to make myself as freakish as possible so i can justify my feelings that i am doomed to experience nothing but exile and my only choice is withdrawal from, what is considered to be, normalcy?
jeez louise!

i actually think a lot about why i love piercings and tattoos so much... i am planning several more piercings. i have a queue, including my septum (the space between the nostrils), which is probably one of the more controversial piercings.
though, i have definitely seen an increase in ladies with the septum piercing. i think it's charming, and only vaguely intimidating.
but i digress.
maybe, i have such an affinity for these body modifications because i am tiny and adorable, and i feel discredited by these factors. i use tattoos and piercings to feel more confident in my assertiveness, and it really has done wonders for my self-esteem.
weird, that my psychiatrist should be so convinced that my piercings are because of self-loathing, when i'm pretty sure they are a support system.
maybe i'm just proving her point by needing body modification to feel better about myself.

what the fuck ever. i'm still getting my septum pierced and expanding my half-sleeve.

WHAT, BITCH?